Motherhood

While waiting for her invitation

To The Mothering Squad

She dreams a little, and lives a little more.

She’s growing a heart so open

Love shines on through a granite mist

Digging out the darkness,

The despair that makes her sick.

She’s kneading early passions

To a strong and potent state

And devouring life’s temptations

Before she procreates.

She’s reading like a wildfire

With flames of curiosity

And running like a panther

Raw and wild and free.

She’s listening to her body

Her energy, her beat

So she can understand

Make strong, respect, replete.

And if the invitation never comes

Remains unwritten, gets waylaid
She’ll mourn a little, then live a little more.

My whole

There’s a home out there,
Waiting.

Where I belong,
All of me.

I’ll know when I’m there,

A pulsing love joins every cell.
Me, one with everything.

And in that place I breathe,
One energy, many souls, 
Together, softly spirited.

My heart takes root,
Secure as it feeds

A universal earthbeat.

Each dawn rise, 
Energised a new
Understood, healed, held.

There’s a home out there
Waiting,

Wanting,
All of me.

Disarm me, 2014

A wild ocean of loving kindness

Smiling eyes, seductive words

Laughter that roots in the belly

A free mind, chasing the heart
Curious, spirited, with intention

Connected to a playful purpose

A breath of energising still
Soulful strength, open heart
Beautifully disarming moments

A happy year of shared delight 

Family, friends, clients, strangers

Synergy, love, understanding.

It's bloody great to be here.

A daily 24 word advent

1 December

Nauseous nostalgia,

Brought to life on screen.

Inspiring us to squander,

Prompting me to scream.

A bear, a hare, doleful eyes,

Distasteful snowy scene.

2 December

Mindless headspace,
Familiar comfort,
The white noise of radio.
Offering everything,
And nothing.
So nice.

Then,
"I wish it could be Christmas, every day..."

3 December

Single drifts into barren solitude.
Loneliness storms into black ice.
So quickly there falls a blizzard of isolation.
Christmas is dreach when you're single.

4 December

Excess,

Everywhere I look.

Overflowing menus,

Detailed plates.

Bellies bursting,

Shirts full.

Chubby wrappers,

Empty fingers.

Trolleys winning,

Indulgence toppling.

Everywhere I look,

Excess.

5 December

To give a present that one detests,
But knows their dearest will love,
The Art of Giving.

Find me someone who has nailed it.

6 December

Squishy expandable snowflake

Gold, shot red

Kaleidoscope complexity.

Drooping from rafters

In every town hall

Garland-like, but not.

The decoration with no name.

7 December

Steaming mince pies

Holly with berries

Mulled cider and turkeys

It's farm shop frenzy.

Could I simply have

Some eggs, milk, and a bap?

8 December

No room in the papers for tat
No spreads on festive bounty
Instead they tell the spellbinding story
Of how Mandela inspired us all.

9 December

What an effort

Being grumpy old scrooge

I'm feeling too darned happy

For this Christmas abuse.

Simple new strategy

Let the damn thing in.

10 December 

Some fairy lights sit in the kitchen

White globes, bought from Ikea

My feeble attempt at a decoration

If I actually put them up.

11 December 

Mellow?

Ha!

Restful? 

I don't think so.

Pushing beyond comfort

Challenging every nook

Opening so much it hurts.

Unpacking 36 years,

Yoga ain't easy.

12 December 

With sand in her sleep,

And longing in that yawn,

She aims for my heart,

Bullseye.

Puppy love -

Fairytale bliss,

Like Santa,

But real.

13 December 

Sisters 
together

deeply 
rooted

90% 
blonde

100% 
with 
help

from 
a 
bottle

at 
ease

strong
spirited

as 
women 
are

when 
they 
gather 
to 
Play.

14 December 

Murray challenges the BBC

Nigela takes on Saatchi

X Factor battles with Strictly

A&E struggles with reality

And Freddie lost Bear at the beach.

15 December 

Mince pie or flapjack

Mulled wine or Guinness

Fairy lights or candle

Knitwear or sweatshirt

Sinatra or Kirsty Young

December or any other month?

16 December 

The year's closing credits

Scroll down my screen

Gentle reminders

Of unfulfilled dreams.

Mislaid compassion

That features too.

A bumpy awakening

Pip's annual review.

17 December

Yogic fracking

Causes dizziness

And nausea

As it cleanses.

Loved or hated

Always turbulent

Leaving behind

Damaged debris.

Painful

Transformative.

Shattering, shifting, 
Lifting, clearing.

18 December

Perhaps I'll move to Paris

Flash back to the twenties

Meet Hemingway, Picasso

Fall in love, do the Charleston

Be awakened by the rain.

19 December

Today is an orange day

Buddy, matt, book

Mirth, lightness, mischief

Lunch, Pears, lilies

Play, conversation, pretend

An Irn Bru kind of a day.

20 December

As dusk falls 

On our yoga retreat

My body channels

Fresh energy

New breath

A strong disposition

For the challenging time

That is Christmas.

21 December

Solstice party

Proper excited

Present chosen

County crossed

Arrived smiling

Immediately snubbed 

Engine failed

Hostile guest

Exit urge

Back home

Loving comfort

Highland Park.

22 December

Marshmallow head

Feverish limbs

Big old tonsils.

A broken down car

Unhappy battery

She's confuddled.

How the ****

Will she drive 

To Scotland tomorrow?

23 December 

Every year 

We give to those we love 

Every year 

We receive unexpected gifts 

Every year 

Garbled excuses from the ones that didn't buy. 

24 December

Sky overflowing with wind

While roads rattle empty

Phone buzzing with concern

While happy tunes beat loud.

A Christmas of contrasts

So lovingly painful.

Being a woman

Being a woman
Is a marvellous thing

From our boobs to our fingers
And fairytale wings.

Dejá vous

Anger

That’s what I’m feeling

Rage at myself

For doing it again

My gut says I’m a tool

For his transition

A momentary pawn

To help him move on

Melancholy

That ache so familiar

Should I walk away

Or ride through the pain

So often that person

Helping another’s journey

What about mine

My needs realised

Foolish

That’s how I feel

Same old, same old

Dejá vous.

Snug wooden lodges

Caddy's Corner is a small family business that offers superb self catering accommodation in Cornwall. 

Wonderfully located bang in the middle of a World Heritage site, the lodges are surrounded by wildflower meadows, with no street lamps or passing cars nearby. Now that's a holiday.

I helped the team sum up their offer online.