This Happening

A man that brings out the quiet in me,

Did I even know there was a quiet there?

A peaceful, tranquilising calm

Sitting alongside a jungle rhythm of fever.

I know, I just know, this is going to be good

No insecurities, no need to fast track, no fear.

A sublime serenity that’s holding me close

Charging my ravenous, but satiated, soul.

I’m not seeing an end, some place to reach,

It’s the journey that’s stirring me deep

My heartbeat is speeding, a lightening ‘hello’

While knowing the pace is sound.

Alive, spirited, up there somewhere

Grounded, earthed, stable and whole.

It’s a wonderfully unfamiliar place I’m in
This happening that might just be home.

A place called home

The Spark of Self Love

Opening my eyes to Love

It started on my birthday. We’d arranged to spend the day together and he let me down. A no show, as he’s prone to do, with no explanation and no response at the end of the phone.

This particular unfulfilled commitment threw me like no other, it felt like the accumulation of all of the people that had ever let me down. All those flaky boyfriends and unreliable surfer buddies, with the added sting of it being my special day. This was the first ever birthday I had truly honoured myself by taking the day off work. Or so I thought.

Well, I crumbled. My birthday was spent sobbing in my office, lamely trying to salvage the day with client work. I was uncontrollable, wracked with an enormous pain, an ache that soared through my chest and stuck in my throat like goblet. I swear I lost half a stone in convulsions that day.

I felt pain at being alone at 36, the only woman I know who is. I felt sadness at having no child and no prospect of one. I felt frustration at my failed relationships and sorrow being so far from my family. I felt isolated for living in in the sticks and a failure as a friend. I now understand the word despair, it engulfed me.

But the next day, when the pain had eased, I woke to a shift inside me. I looked at myself and saw a woman that deserved to be treated with respect. Respected by her friends, family and partner, and, more fundamentally, by herself.

By consistently choosing friends that were fickle and lovers who let her down, it was inevitable she was going to be let down on her birthday. Her birthday, and pretty much every other day of her life.

This summer has taken me through the journey of emotions that run with a seismic shift - sadness, despair, anger, compassion, forgiveness, empowerment. And that’s where I am now, discovering my power for the first time. Believing that I’m worth something as a friend, a partner, a daughter, a consultant, hell, as a woman.

If the Band is Happy...

There’s something that makes a festival in Cornwall just that little bit different to any other, it’s got something to do with location.

Electric Beach Festival, at Watergate Bay on 31 August, definitely had that killer advantage. Live music on the beach, with tunes stirring the sand from noon, and lasting past the sun dipping behind the ocean. I’m not sure it gets any better.

Watergate Bay

The day long event included get-on-down electro soul from Bristol based duo Hot d’Jour, as well as pump-up-your-dance-moves electro pop from Swiss Lips - two relatively young and hugely talented bands. The evening, however, was owned by Zion Train and Soul II Soul.

Acid dub collective Zion Train, were absolutely stoked to be performing and a thrill to watch. Let’s be honest, when a quality band is happy to be on stage then you’re guaranteed a good gig.

With their deep sonic beats and infectious smiles, it didn’t take long before the audience was rocking, only pausing when day turned to night and the colours in the sky momentarily rivalled the performance on stage.

If that wasn’t enough, hello baby, welcome to the stage…. Soul II Soul. Seductive, melodic, make-your-blood-stir music that a corpse couldn’t stay still to. And, with three female vocalists, there was plenty of variety in store.

Soul II Soul kicked off with some R&B, shifting to a bit of deep soul, and then hitting on the audience’s energy and bringing in a crescendo of hip hop. As well as some fresh tracks, the much loved ‘Back to Life’ and ‘Keep on Moving’ kept the band in tune with the crowd.

Well, that’s only a small part of the whole event, did I mention there was an after party? A story for another time, but be assured it was immense. Review online at Music-news.com.

Soul II Soul

The backdrop to Electric Beach

When the Sun Shines

The world’s a happier place when the sun shines. We dig out our most colourful clothes, hook up with friends on school nights and dance like no one’s watching. That was the picture at Lusty Glaze last week.

Both The Levellers and The Proclaimers played headline acts at Lusty’s Sundowner Sessions, sharing their legendary tracks on consecutive balmy summer evenings.

The Levellers took to the stage on Thursday, and boy did they draw a crowd. The venue was truly packed, well, as packed out as Lusty Glaze allows. That’s the beauty of the beach, a sold out gig still allows plenty of room for those who prefer their very own dancing arena, just a few metres from the immediate atmosphere and bustling crowd.

The sun sets at Lusty Glaze Beach

The Proclaimers played a pretty special set too. With a slightly more mellow fan base, the band were precluded by the soulful Kezia and upbeat tunes of The Jar Family. Very contrasting bands for the crowd to limber up to on a Friday night, as they tucked into paella and ice cold beer, kicking off their shoes for the evening.

Some fans relaxed on lime green deckchairs and quietly absorbed the music, other groups of friends congregated outside the beach huts enjoying the barbeque with the comfort of tables and chairs. And a few hundred dug their toes into the sand and swayed and jumped with unashamed abandonment to ‘I would walk 500 miles’ and ‘Letter from America’.

There comes a point during every Sundowner Session when the band isn’t the most important thing happening. That’s when the sun dips down behind the ocean, the sky lights up in colour and every soul with a smidgen of romance in them grabs their nearest loved one to enjoy the sunset. 

Sorry Wembley, you don’t come close!

Individuality in dance

I’d never been to a performance put on by a community dance group before, and to be honest I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. Knowing that Echoes Dance Co. welcomed any dancer, without audition or qualification, I was just a little apprehensive as I took my seat for Beyond the Pale.

The show was to be hinged around the colours of the rainbow, and each chapter to explore the emotions a particular colour might awaken. This was to be done over eight chapters, with several dancers collaborating on the choreography. Really, could this work?

The show opened with the oppressive and furious red. Echoes’ artistic director, Star, read a narrative on liberation and placed a sheet of red silk on stage. This was a pretty powerful beginning, and immediately my apprehension began to wane.

The dancers flowed onto the stage, all 14 of them, each wearing a red cloth wristband. Wild and passionate, the dance played out with an energy filling the room, and the audience shifting into submission.

A light orange followed, and then a mischievous yellow. And next green, the carefree nature of green. The colours took us on an emotional rollercoaster, a little like that one called life, where we can feel so intensely passionate one minute, then fall into that place of despair and, woops, laugh until our belly hurts - all before the day is out.

We were gently eased into the second half with the joyous nature of blue, before a darker side came out with indigo and an accompanying poem about the brutality of power. A predatory dance was performed and one could visibly feel the change amongst the audience, we were intimidated and frightened, this was profound.

The beauty of women was celebrated with violet, the dancers wore an understated flower in their hair. And, if there’s one chapter everyone will remember, it‘s the finale - a sensational bringing together of the whole rainbow, danced to Kelly and Steinberg’s ‘True Colours’. Stunning.

I’ve never before seen a performance where each dancers’ individuality is celebrated, as much as their scripted role on stage. The real beauty of Beyond the Pale is just that. Dancers in their twenties and sixties shared the stage, with a whole range physical abilities, their commonality being that each performer could feel strongly, and communicate this through dance.

And it was that feeling, that power of emotion, that hypnotised the audience, and moved us to tears.

Beyond the Pale, Echoes Dance Co

A Photo

I wanted to be in it
They teased me
I'm in the background
Jumping in
Unwanted 
'And me' 
Became my nickname

My nickname
'And me'
They laughed
I cried
A stabbing symbol
Of my place 
In our family

My place
An unvisited
Suburbia
There
Very much There
But not Their
Sort of place.

The photo in sketch